Finished

I think I'm done here. It's time for me to move on. I'm closing down this blog.

Like I said earlier today, I'm bored with myself, so bored that my posts contain nothing interesting, and frankly I'm amazed any of you are still here reading. I've been feeling this way for a while, and was planning on closing my blog down in about a year anyway.

Today I was put in a situation in which I had to choose what is most important to me, and this blog just isn't it any more. To be completely honest, I've lost interest lately and the only reason I've been reading some blogs is so that they will comment here. I don't know why I've placed importance on getting comments, and I think I've been continuing on here for the wrong reasons.

I will still be around reading and commenting on many of your sites, because I love reading what you all have to write. But this part is just no fun for me any more and just feels like an obligation rather than something I really want to do.

Feel free to email me if you'd like - my address is mrs.jessie.ca[at]gmail.com. If you have gmail and ever want to chat, that would be great too. There are many of you I'd love to stay in touch with. We just need new methods now.

Thanks for everything.

Signing off-
Jessie

It's Only 9 AM...

...and I already want a nap. Thank goodness for coffee!

This is going to be a long day.

I can't believe it's Thursday already though. I'm really looking forward to the weekend, especially since I have Monday off for President's Day. Although, I am going to be busy all weekend because I am half-way through a baby afghan that I'd like to have done by Tuesday. I'm thinking renting movies and sitting on the couch for three days is what is in store for me.

As exciting as that sounds *dripping with sarcasm*, you'd probably be surprised to hear that I'm feeling boring this week. Nothing too incredibly new or different is happening in my life right now. I'm taking a class on evaluation methods online, and I'm really excited to be taking the class, but it's nothing to write home about. I'm excited for my trip to Florida coming up in just about a month, and my neice to be born soon after that, but that's all in the future. Right now? Life is good, but incredibly boring.

Happy Valentines Day

In my family, growing up, we never really celebrated Valentines Day because it's also my brother's birthday and we didn't want to take his special day away from him. I think this makes Aaron eternally happy since he doesn't have to make a big deal about this day because I don't really care. We don't usually go out for a fancy dinner, or any other kind of date, but we do usually cook something slightly fancier and watch one of our favorite movies. We definitely don't do presents, unless they're of the flowers variety, which I don't mind at all. (Confidental to Aaron: HINT)

Tonight I'm making a fancy dinner - shrimp scampi with roasted cherry tomatoes, roasted asparagus, and molten mocha cakes. I don't even want to admit how much I had to pay for shrimp, especially since I should have thought about it ahead of time and gotten them from a local shrimp farm that's just down the road from my office. Duh! Then we'll probably watch Out Cold or Finding Nemo, and, you know, other stuff.

I actually did get a package from my mom yesterday, and in addition to some pants I left at home over Christmas and a late-arriving Christmas present (an armband for my iPod), she sent a card, some cash, a coloring book, and colored pencils. She knows the way to my heart for sure. She said she was going to send chocolates, but knew I wouldn't want them, so she sent cash instead.

Which brings me to my final point (re: not wanting the chocolates). I've decided to join some people who are doing Weight Loss Wednesdays on their blogs. I don't necessarily need to lose weight, but seeing as I've gained almost 10 pounds from this time last year, I think it's time to work on losing a little weight. I figured I could use a little encouragement from others doing this, since Aaron tells me I look fine and that he doesn't like my "diet food" (which obviously we're not having tonight). So here's my first "weigh-in" (I'm a little nervous about posting my actual weight, so please, be gentle):

My weight on:

2/7/07: 156
2/14/07: 154 (cumulative lost: 2)
Goal: 145 (9 more lbs. to go)

I'm a little nervous to see my weight tomorrow after the feast we have planned. Guess I'll have to tell Aaron we really need to work it off later. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

So, what do you all have planned for Valentines day? Did you get anything fun? I hope you all have a fabulous day, paired up or not, and that you get at least a little spoiled even if you have to spoil yourselves. Lord knows I'm spoiling myself by going to my favorite lunch place today for some absolutely fabulous tomato soup.

Why is this even a problem?

There are four roads near my home and work that are testing my patience lately. These four roads basically make a square, and connect my home and work place, so these are roads I travel on an almost daily basis.

It's not exactly the roads that are testing my patience, I guess, but instead it's the drivers on these roads. The drivers who routinely (read: any day I'm driving behind them) go 10 to 15 miles an hour under the speed limit. Also, just to make it a little more fun, on three of these roads if I'm going the speed limit, someone is tailgating me.

There really isn't any other way to go to or from work without using at least one of these roads unless I go way out of my way, which isn't happening. It could be my general burnt-out feeling lately that is making this more annoying than it may really be, but today I had the urge to lean on my horn until the guy in front of me stopped driving 35 in a 55. That's right - today's driver in front of me was going 20(!) miles per hour under the speed limit. Also, it's a hilly road, so there's no passing zone on the entire stretch I drive, so I can't even pass the guy who was driving me nuts today.

Does this problem even exist elsewhere?

Cuteness Reinstated

The cuteness is back. We were mostly fine by the time we both got home and inhaled a yummy dinner (corn dogs, baked beans and cole slaw, all homemade). I did the dishes (something he normally does, so he was happy for the respite), and then retired to bed to watch CSI and fall asleep early.

All was going pretty well until about 2 am when our downstairs neighbor (the one we repeatedly have noise problems with) either turned on her television really loud or was talking really loud, I couldn't tell which, but whatever she was doing it woke us up. Aaron got up and tried to turn off the alarm, which is what he thought the noise was. Then he got back in bed and sleepily asked, "why am I awake?" before drifting back off to sleep within about 15 minutes.

I, on the other hand, was wide awake and after 45 minutes of laying there trying to will myself back asleep I got up to go sleep on the couch. This morning we were completely back to normal. Aaron's calling our rental office today. I can't wait to see what happens.

Nothing sparks unity and togetherness like a common enemy.

He's Too Cute

Last night Aaron was cooking dinner while I was sitting on the couch trying to get warm under a blanket. From the kitchen he asked me a question and then stopped halfway through his sentence to sing along with the song that was playing at that moment on our CD player.

Even though it makes him self-conscious, and I know this, I couldn't help but laugh, because it was adorable.

Two nights ago we were talking about something, I don't remember what, and we were both distracted while having this conversation. My attention snapped back to what he was saying when these words came out of his mouth, "But does it have a specific porpoise?"

Again, I couldn't help but laugh, but this time he laughed with me. We've been making porpoise/dolphin jokes ever since.

Despite all this cuteness, we had a non-fight kind of fight last night, where things were said and feelings were hurt and we just quit talking for the rest of the night. This morning we both acted as if nothing had happened, but things were still tense between us.

I want the cuteness back.

Indulgences

It's the dead of winter, and I'm feeling like hibernating, snuggling with Aaron, and not much else. Here are some other ways I make it through this time of year:

• Some people like to sleep in, but I like to go to bed early. I get to do it more often than I'd get to sleep in. I'm a morning person anyway, so it's not like the sleeping in ever happens. On a good day I can sleep in until seven, but even that's rare.
• Our down comforter is heavy, thick, and puts you in a snuggly mood. There's nothing better at the end of a cold day than to get into a warm, comfy bed.
• A cup of hot tea about an hour before bedtime relaxes me like almost nothing else. And Tension Tamer tea? Almost puts me to sleep. It's wonderful.
• Weekends are the only time I don't eat breakfast in bed. I eat it while I watch the beginning of the Today show, to see what happened in the world while I was asleep. After that it's almost impossible to be in a bad mood.
• Some weekends I make a double batch of Belgian waffles. Even though we can't even come close to finishing a single batch, the rest are stored in the refrigerator and we toast them like Eggos the rest of the week. They're so much better than the store-bought variety. You can do the same thing with pancakes. Hot breakfasts are such a great way to start the day when it's so cold outside.
• My favorite way to eat oatmeal for breakfast: with peanut butter and raisins stirred in. Try it, you might like it. It's a filling breakfast and should hold you through until at least lunch time.
• The recipe in my sidebar is my new favorite indulgence, but probably shouldn't be made on any sort of a regular basis, because it's not like they're the healthiest dessert ever. But, yes, molten mocha cakes - they're easy and quick to make, doesn't make enough for leftovers, really, and oh, so delicious. You definitely feel spoiled when you cut into one of those.

What are your favorite indulgences this time of year?

Just In Time

I haven't talked about it much on here, but Aaron's brother and his wife are having a baby sometime in April. We're a little fuzzy on the dates because Aaron's been the one relaying the information to me and for some reason it doesn't seem as important to him as it really is. I've been bugging him to get the pertinent information, i.e. due date, sex of the baby, etc., for some time now, but he always "forgets" to ask.

Anyway, the baby shower is this weekend and I'm getting really excited. I decided this past weekend that I would buy them a few things off their registry, plus some diapers, and I'm also making a no-sew fleece blanket. My plan was to buy the fabric tonight between work and my hair appointment, and then get to work tonight once I got home. Seeing as so far there was no word on whether I will have a niece or nephew, I was torn between buying fabric to match their favorite sports team (University of Michigan Football), or something yellow and babyish.

Well, just in time, Aaron got a message this morning from his brother. Drumroll please.........

In just a few short months I will have a NIECE!

And even though I'm not necessarily all for decking babies out in full "gender appropriate" colors: Adorable pink and purple fleece, here I come!

I'm so excited!

He Didn't Really, Did He?

Friday night we were out and about, and since it was really freaking cold I was waiting in the car while Aaron was running into a store to pick something up. As he left the car, he said to me, "You know how to lock the doors, right?"

I shot him a look that basically said, "Did you really just ask me that?", and then pushed the lock button the wrong way so that I unlocked all the doors instead of locking them.

I guess I deserved that question.
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What did you think of the Superbowl commercials last night? I wasn't too impressed to be honest. There were a few really funny ones (the Doritos one where the guy rear-ended someone because he was looking at a pretty girl, the Snickers one, and the K-Fed Nationwide one), but most commercials seemed to be for CBS shows. Did anyone else notice that too?

We were more excited for the food I made than the game anyway. Our spread included chili, veggies and dip, and molten mocha cakes. So good, and just what I needed on a freezing cold day.

OMG, Finally!

I have been waiting for Friday all week and it has taken its sweet time getting here, it seems. But now it's Friday, and I'm happy, and also only working a half day today due to travelling into the night on Monday and Tuesday. Woohoo!

So in honor of Friday (Woohoo!) I'm doing it up bullet-style:

* The other night I was preparing Aaron for what he was supposed to make for dinner last night. The menu included Pasta Ameritriciana (a quick and easy tomato bacon sauce with linguine, which turned out wonderfully), a green salad, and garlic bread. I told him he had a choice between the texas toast garlic bread and garlic breadsticks.

Well, apparently "garlic breadsticks" are the magic words, because his face immediately lit up. "You got garlic breadsticks? They're my favorite!"

"They are?" I asked. "Why did you ever tell me that before? I would buy them more often if I knew."

"Well, you like the garlic toast and I want you to be happy and so I eat the garlic toast and that's fine."

It would seem I'm not the only one with the pleasing-other-people-while-sacrificing-my-own-needs problem in our house.

* This morning on the local news the anchor stated, "It's cold out there! You might want to turn up your thermostat!" Um, yeah. It's been cold, like 20s and teens cold for a couple of weeks now. It's in the single digits, yes, but isn't the point of a thermostat to keep it at a roughly steady temperature no matter what the weather's like outside? Do I have this wrong?

* I am a major geek. I have already pre-ordered the newest Harry Potter book. I also told Aaron he had to start reading the first one now so that he could be done with the series up till the new book by the time I'm done with the new book and the he can read it and we can be excited together. He looked at me like I was diseased or something. It's possible that I am, I guess. I have Potter-itis, and I've got the itch for the new book. I can't wait!

Tantrum

As I still haven't quite recovered from the being horribly busy thing, I wanted to share something with you.

It's this video.

I actually saw a promo for it on the Today show yesterday and then watched it last night, and I have to say I'm completely horrified. The video is supposedly of a bride on her wedding day (the Today show people thought it might be fake, and for the sake of the woman in the video, I sure hope so) who has a bad hair style. So she starts trying to undo the style, and is screaming and crying. Then, even though her friends try to stop her, she starts cutting off her hair. Finally she starts hysterically screaming, asking why they let her do this, and stating that there's no way she could get married like that. She's completely unhinged, and it's painful to watch.

Although I've never been quite that bad, I've had my moments where I've become completely unhinged as well. I've cried and screamed and thrown temper tantrums as an adult, and I am embarrassed about it. I'm sure I'm not the only one and thankfully it hasn't happened in a while, but I'm sure it will happen again.

I have memories from when I was young of my mom completely losing it on us. My siblings and I would be fighting, screaming, or just being completely obnoxious, and she'd just lose it on us. There are scars in the house that remind us of these times; the dent in the counter top from where she repeatedly banged a pot on the counter to try and get us to please, for the love of God, shut up!

When she'd lose it, we'd lose it too. It was scary to see her like that. We'd be sent to our rooms and we'd run there crying and scared and wanting to cling to one another. We'd be scared of her for the rest of the day, tip-toeing around the house once we were finally freed from our rooms, and not doing much of anything so that we wouldn't incur her wrath again.

This is not to say it was a common experience, or that she was abusive in any way; she absolutely wasn't. She's an awesome mom, always has been, but she sometimes couldn't cope for a few minutes. I've seen Aaron after I have had one of my fits, and he's doing the same tip-toe thing, trying to avoid anything that could possibly make me unhappy, but at the same time he doesn't really feel like being close to me either just in case I explode all over again.

We learn a lot from our parents on how to be adults. I try to focus on the positive things they've taught me, and there are many, but sometimes the negatives peek out. As Aaron and I get closer and closer to the decision we're ready to become parents, these things worry me even more. I want to be the best role model I can be, but I know there will be times I can't cope and that there will be times when I might feel like I'm losing my mind. I just hope that I can keep it under control better than I have in the past. I'm just as scared as I am excited at the thought of being a parent.