Does this make me a horrible person?
Two weeks from today I'm throwing Aaron a birthday "fiesta" at our favorite Mexican restaurant. There will be pitchers of margaritas, platters of nachos, and even a margarita cake (made by me of course). I've invited all of the usual suspects and told Aaron last night that his college roommate was going to come from out of town. He was glad I invited the guy and even more glad that he could make it. Then Aaron asked me the question that I was Dreading (yes, with a capital D). Had I invited his friend Alex*.
Now I like Alex, in small doses. And sober. But drunk Alex is a little too much for me to handle. He gets rowdy and loud and sort-of obnoxious.
Well, I hadn't invited Alex for this very reason. Flowing margaritas means he'll probably get pretty drunk, and since I won't be drinking I'll have a harder time dealing with that. But now I feel bad. I did email him this morning and invite him, but I'm really hoping that since the party is on a Friday evening and he lives quite a few hours away that he won't be able to make it.
So, this is where the question comes in - this guy is one of Aaron's very best friends and has been his friend for most of his life, but I really don't want him to come. Does this make me a horrible person? Hoping he doesn't come? Or does it just put me in the usual "bitch wife" position that I hate? You know, the annoying wife that all the husband's friends can't stand because she's not nice to them (and really I try to be nice to all my husband's friends and like about 99% of them) and who I strive not to be. I hope it doesn't make me the bitch wife. I really do.
*Alex is not his real name
posted by Mrs. Ca @ 8:42 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
I don't think it makes you a horrible person. Does your husband agree with your issues with Alex? I mean, he doesn't think there is just no problem at all, does he? I'm sure he understands why you'd be hesitant to invite him somewhere he's likely to embarrass you all.
I don't think it makes you a horrible person at all. Have you talked to your husband about how you feel when Alex is drinking? Perhaps your husband could casually mention to Alex that it would be nice if he watched how many he tied on?
Sticky situation...I hope it works out and you all have a good time.
My husband has quite a few of these "friends." I suck it up twice a year...for his birthday and Christmas. (they come back into town for c'mas) But the rest of the year I am definately the uptight no fun wife. My husband is alright with that though. He accepts his "twice a year" and understands and appreciates that and all the work I put forth to give him those two dates a year. :) So bare with him. Let him enjoy. Then pull in the reins ;) hehe
I was actually in a Aaron's position, I had the friend that hubby's whole side of the family couldn't stand and my MIL threw me a baby shower and didn't invite her. I was very upset and thought it was selfish of her to not invite someone who, at the time, was one of my best friends (she is a horrible drunk as well).
I don't think you are a bitch but just being honest. And, I do think it is nice that you invited him, even if you hope he doesn't come. The fact that you are willing to potentially suffer so that your Aaron enjoys his birthday is a good thing - not bitchy!
as to my friend above, we are no longer friends, it just took me a lot longer to see what everyone else saw. There is still hope for Aaron....
you are NOT a horrible person. you said you like Alex in small sober doses. you don't unequivocally loathe him.
i once dated a guy whose best friend was the most obnoxious, contemptible man and i am relieved i no longer date him. and he was sober!
hmmm, maybe i should have gotten drunk with him? ;)
good luck!
Hi! Saw your comment (tiny voice of pre-hurrahs) at Amy's place (Amalah). Just wanted to say hi and I do NOT think you're being a meanie for not appreciating an annoying drunk. I think its just one of those things that come with Married Life - the friends that you have that the other person can't stand.
I know I've got THOSE girlfriends, and my husband has those guy friends... we just agree to disagree and have boys/girls' nights/weekends away, and realize how happy we are to get back home to each other. But what I must know more about is the MARGARITA CAKE!!! Do you have a recipe? Can I have it? Is it served with a slice of lime?
Maybe you should ask Alex to be your designated driver... because you think "he's so very reliable and helpful and nice and he's your husband good old freind and you trust him."
It's not like you hate all of Aaron's friends. You are entitled to not like someone if they are annoying or offensive when drunk or sober or whatever. Handling someone in small doses for the sake of his friendship with your husband makes you a good wife, not a horrible person. You invited him, didn't you :o)
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