Friday, June 23, 2006

How Would You Respond?

A couple of months back, when we bought our new car, I was online chatting with a friend and wanted to tell her about the car. So, I prefaced saying, “We bought a new car” with, “Want to hear something sort of exciting?” She said “Sure” and so I told her about the car.

Unfortunately it didn’t end there. That weekend we went out with she and her boyfriend and sometime during the night she told me that when I said “Want to hear something sort of exciting” that she was “Really scared” that I was going to announce I was pregnant. I responded, “Nope, not yet”, but it’s been bothering me ever since.

Why would someone be “really scared” that their happily married friend was pregnant? I can understand that, you know, when the baby comes along there might not be as much time to hang out with friends, and if I were pregnant I probably wouldn’t hang out in the normal smoke-filled bars where we usually meet, but still. It bothered me. I really like this friend and am scared that when I do get pregnant and have to tell her, that she won’t want to see me any more. She doesn’t even want kids, so I know it’s not a jealousy issue, and she has two close friends with kids, so it’s not that she hates kids either.

I just don’t know what I’ll say or how I should address it when the time comes.


At 6/23/2006 12:21 PM, Anonymous mamatulip said...

I'd ask her straight up why she said that. I wouldn't be rude about it or anything, but I'd say that it had been on my mind ever since she said it and you wondered why she said 'really scared'. That's just the kind of person I am, though...I'd just be honest about it and get to the bottom of it.

At 6/23/2006 12:42 PM, Blogger Sizzle said...

you gotta own your feelings. if you don't say something to her, it will just fester and nothing should get in the way of your elation when you do get pregnant and want to tell the world. i agree with mamatulip.

it might have just been nothing and it will all be cleared up with some direct communication. :)

At 6/25/2006 10:08 PM, Blogger Greg said...

Hmm... that IS interesting. Does SHE have kids? If not, you may be the last of her friends to not get pregnant and she secretly doesn't want to be the only one who is sans children. I've got a close friend who told me not too long ago that if any of her [younger] sisters got pregnant before she did, she would be "super upset/devastated." Maybe that's what's going on with your friend. But definitely ask her what's up.

At 6/28/2006 1:31 PM, Blogger BB said...

I have two dear friends that have warned me that they need ample notice when we decide to start getting pregnant. They're both still single and very apprehensive about the way it will change our relationship, but at the same time will be the best "aunties" that our future child(ren) could ever dream to have. I vote for talking to your friend openly about her commnet. Hopefully it will strengthen your relationship rather than harm it.


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