This past Saturday, Aaron and I were getting up and about (read: showering and brushing our hair, finally at about 5 pm at night) and he looked at me and said, “Hey babe, wanna shag?” to which I replied, “Um, sure?” because seriously, who else but my husband and Austin Powers try to seduce by asking a girl if she wants to “shag”.
Then he said, “You didn’t let me finish – what I was going to say is, do you wanna shag some balls?” (to which I giggled, because I have the mind of a twelve-year-old boy sometimes). But as soon as we got ready we were off to the driving range to share a bucket of balls.
We were both kind of not doing well at first – Aaron was hitting the balls, but they weren’t going high or far, and I was just swinging at air apparently, not hitting anything. Then I finally connected with a ball. However, it only went about five feet. Aaron decided that I needed that ball back, so he went in front of me to send it back my way. He was facing away from me and meant to tap the ball lightly with his club so it would roll back to me and I could hit it again.
Instead, he made the first good contact with the ball all day. As if in slow motion, as soon as I saw him hit the ball I knew it was coming right for me, quick and hard, but I couldn’t move. Sure enough there was a loud “crack” as the golf ball hit me right on the kneecap. And, damn, did it hurt. I started crying pretty much right away (but also tried to hide it, because I hate crying in public, especially when I’m surrounded by a bunch of men, which I was at the driving range) and Aaron came over and apologized profusely. I only cried for about a minute, and then went up to hit another ball. Which I did. Hard. And I got about 150 yards straight ahead. It was awesome.
You know what else is awesome? Totally milking the giant bruise I have on my knee. Aaron feels bad, and even though he knows I’m fine and I don’t really care, I’ve been having fun giving him a hard time about it and he’s been having fun spoiling me rotten ever since.
New rule though – if you hit a ball that doesn't go far? You get to get it yourself.