You've made it through the wedding without tripping or making an ass of yourself. You've made it through the limo ride, complete with leaky limo roof due to the torrential downpour happening outside, and are now standing next to the bride ready to deliver your speech as Maid of Honor. You start in:
Standing here, looking at the two of you tonight, I once again am sure that some things really are meant to be.
It's going well, but you realize that you're starting to shake. You're actually shaking really bad, but you continue on:
For those of you who may not know, K and I met 24 years ago at daycare when we were just toddlers. My mom and I weren’t supposed to live in our hometown for long, but fate intervened and we stayed. Kara and I have been friends since the day we met, and I’m glad fate kept me in our hometown so I could be friends with someone as wonderful as her. We were meant to be.
Shit. You're really shaking now. You can't even read the paper the speech is written on so you set it down, and continue on, mostly from memory:
Then, just two years ago, K changed plans. She was supposed to be in Columbus for a year, but she decided to head to California instead. By the end of the first semester she had met J and they started dating. From the way she talked about him, I think I knew she was in love with him before even she had realized it. I think her decision to move to California was meant to be – she had to go there to meet J, the love of her life.
You're almost done. Why are you shaking so hard? You often talk in front of large crowds, because it's part of your job. So why is this happening? Ah, emotion. You'd usually cry, but today, for some reason, you're shaking like a leaf instead. Okay...just finish it. You'll be fine.
I couldn’t be happier for the two of you than I am tonight. True love always makes me happy, especially when it is so clearly meant to be. I love you both and wish you only the best.
To K and J – who are truly meant to be.
Thank the Lord, it's over!
You listen to the best man give his speech, which is also really good. And he didn't shake or cry at all, of course. The toast is over, so it's dinner time.
After dinner the bride and groom start making the rounds while you and the best man are still sitting at the head table. The pastor approaches, walks up to the best man and says "That was a really great speech. I really enjoyed it. Good job." and walks away.
Yeah, this is a great start to the night. It can only go up from here.
(P.S. It did go up from there, and a great time was had by all, including me. Everything went perfectly, aside from the downpour that happened during and after the wedding, and the happy couple is safely on their honeymoon.)