Friday, August 04, 2006

Not Unexpected

We got a call from Aaron's brother last night (he's the one who got married in mid-June) letting us know the good news. He and his wife are having a baby! I'm very excited for them, but also kind of sad for both them and me. Them because they're young, underemployed, and just starting out. In fact they're just moving to their very first apartment - they've never lived away from their parents before. It's not going to be easy, I'm sure, but I wish them the best.

I'm sad for me because, honestly, I wanted to be first. I'm not too overly sad, because it's a choice Aaron and I made together, and one we keep making - to wait just a little longer. Everytime we get to the month we've said is the month, we decide to put it off yet again. We have all kinds of excuses, including the money thing, the fact that we're finally having a little fun because we have enough money to have a little fun, etc. Honestly every time it's about that time I get scared, and I think Aaron gets scared too, so we decide to wait. So, this is what waiting has brought us. We're not first.

Being not first is also a good thing though. That means some of the baby pressure is off because there's going to be a first grandchild and first great-grandchild, so it will stave off the "When" questions from the in-laws for a little while.

All of this was not unexpected. My sister-in-law's siblings both married young and had kids right away. I knew this was going to happen. So did Aaron. It's kind of bittersweet. We're happy, because, you know, it's a baby. We're supposed to be happy. We can't really help being happy for them. But we're also a little bummed. Oh, well. No turning back now.


At 8/04/2006 10:13 AM, Anonymous donna said...

I understand where you are coming from. When you make a decision to wait, you don't necessarily think about the downsides of waiting, and it would never cross anyone's mind until this comes up that there is a bit of fun in being the first. But look at it this way - they'll have baby gear to donate to you when it is your time! See, another plus side.

At 8/04/2006 10:36 AM, Blogger BB said...

I'm the last of the grandkids not to have produced a great-grandchild. It was almost easier when none of us had children. Now the questions seem to be more frequent. Sort of like, "See, they've done it - you can too." It sounds like you and Aaron are making the right decisions for you both. The time wil come.

At 8/04/2006 11:34 AM, Blogger Julie said...

Completely understand where you are coming from. When we first got married people always asked. Then one day we learned we could not have kids. So when I was asked I wanted to make them feel stupid for always asking. Finally I just told them I couldn't have kids. I only had to tell 2 people that and the rumor mill started.

I am with will get all kinds of loot. So when you buy the niece or nephew stuff make sure you like it. :)

At 8/04/2006 12:00 PM, Blogger Jenny said...

I highly recomend waiting. Dan and I waited 8 years. I was almost 30 and it IS everything we wanted it to be. I can stay at home AND we aren't living on Ramen Noodles.

I had a hard time any time anyone announced 'the good news' (my neice had a baby before me) and sometimes I wished I could stay home from a baby shower because I was so jealous - but I always attended and was happy I did.

Rejoice in their luck and offer to baby sit whenever needed and ask tons of questions about everything - it will prepare you for what is to come. But not until you are ready. Believe me, it's hard enough even when it's what you want.


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