Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Category 9 Freak-Out

Sorry for yesterday's rambling post. I wasn't having the best of days, that's for certain. I don't know what was causing it, but it seemed that a lot of things came together all at once (realizing Christmas was only two weeks away, having to go to work, life, etc.) and I had a major freak out. I worked all morning, then ran an errand at lunch and decided I couldn't take it any more, so I went home for the afternoon. I had four personal hours to use in the next couple of weeks anyway, so it's all good.

At home I played computer games, watched Top Chef re-runs, and did a couple of loads of laundry. I thought I was doing much better, but then I felt like crying because Aaron didn't like the recipe I tried for dinner. Then my laundry was done, and I actually did cry because I didn't want to fold it. Then I cried harder because I felt bad that Aaron had to deal with me crying for such a stupid reason. I'm sure I was a bundle of fun to be around.

I don't know if it's hormones, my seasonal depression (that would be an early start this year), or stress, but I'm still not feeling like myself. I'm not excited for Christmas at all. I'm excited to spend time with my family, but not excited about the actual holiday. We haven't even put ornaments on the tree, although we have decorated everything else. I've been listening to all my Christmas CDs, but they haven't been able to get me in the holiday mood. I haven't started baking yet, when usually by this time my freezer is stocked with at least a few dozen cookies. I just feel off this year.

So, I'm starting to bake tonight. I'm also finishing up my one homemade present so I can get that mailed out. Maybe if I start doing things for the holiday I'll start getting more in to it. At least that's what I'm hoping will happen.


At 12/12/2006 10:07 AM, Blogger Kelley said...

I've been sitting here for a few minutes, trying to think of a cheerful response, but yeah...this time of year can be tough. So like you said, sometimes you just have to do the things you enjoy - like baking - and hope the enjoyment follows!

We finally put up our tree and decorated it over the weekend, and it was a lot more fun than I'd anticipated. So you have tree decorating to look forward to!

At 12/12/2006 11:30 AM, Anonymous Leslie said...

My freak-out is coming. We're hosting a holiday party on Christmas Eve for my husband's family. They all hate me. So, I'll work tirelessly to clean, decorate and cook so they can tell me my house smells funny, complain that there are more Santas than baby Jesuses around and refuse to eat.

The stress is building up pretty good. My meltdown should be awesome amd just in time for Christmas Day!

At 12/12/2006 11:50 AM, Anonymous audrey said...

I'm having the same problem this year. I'm just not excited for Christmas, no matter what holiday prep stuff I do. Maybe once I'm at my parents' house I'll start to get excited. Who knows...

At 12/12/2006 12:54 PM, Blogger CPA Mom said...

Oh sweetie, I know what you mean. Let me tell you what FINALLY got me in the Christmas mood. I adopted a family from the USO for Christmas and got my Lions club to do the same. Then I went shopping for both families. And helped with the toy shopping for our Lions Club Christmas party for underprivledged kids. I hope it doesn't sound too preachy - but really, making Christmas happen for children that wouldnt' otherwise have one, really puts me in the holiday mood. Try the anysoldier.com site or something similar. You WILL feel better.

Also, eating cookies helps. Every time. xoxo

At 12/12/2006 3:09 PM, Blogger Steph said...

Just know that you are not alone. I hope the baking helps; I know I'm really looking forward to baking my cookies this weekend.

At 12/12/2006 3:19 PM, Blogger Rude Cactus said...

Freaking out is a lot like pooping. Everyone does it and no one really likes anyone else to watch. But it happens. I hope you're doing better today.

At 12/12/2006 5:35 PM, Anonymous TB said...

Oh man, hormones suck donkey balls. I have been there, crying over the laundry or the dishes or whatever too. And then you just feel stupid, but really you have to just let it out. You'll feel so much better.


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