Category 9 Freak-Out

Sorry for yesterday's rambling post. I wasn't having the best of days, that's for certain. I don't know what was causing it, but it seemed that a lot of things came together all at once (realizing Christmas was only two weeks away, having to go to work, life, etc.) and I had a major freak out. I worked all morning, then ran an errand at lunch and decided I couldn't take it any more, so I went home for the afternoon. I had four personal hours to use in the next couple of weeks anyway, so it's all good.

At home I played computer games, watched Top Chef re-runs, and did a couple of loads of laundry. I thought I was doing much better, but then I felt like crying because Aaron didn't like the recipe I tried for dinner. Then my laundry was done, and I actually did cry because I didn't want to fold it. Then I cried harder because I felt bad that Aaron had to deal with me crying for such a stupid reason. I'm sure I was a bundle of fun to be around.

I don't know if it's hormones, my seasonal depression (that would be an early start this year), or stress, but I'm still not feeling like myself. I'm not excited for Christmas at all. I'm excited to spend time with my family, but not excited about the actual holiday. We haven't even put ornaments on the tree, although we have decorated everything else. I've been listening to all my Christmas CDs, but they haven't been able to get me in the holiday mood. I haven't started baking yet, when usually by this time my freezer is stocked with at least a few dozen cookies. I just feel off this year.

So, I'm starting to bake tonight. I'm also finishing up my one homemade present so I can get that mailed out. Maybe if I start doing things for the holiday I'll start getting more in to it. At least that's what I'm hoping will happen.